K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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