I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
