I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
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