her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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