I wanna bring you to show and tell
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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