I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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