I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
