hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize