you guys were way drunker than both of me
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize