about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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