so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
