I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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