Having a random hookup so left but love u
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
