I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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