I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize