She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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