I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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