there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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