i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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