It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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