Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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