is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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