I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
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Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
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there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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