the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
