somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
