she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
