soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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