I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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