I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
