Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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