oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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