Can i not drive my cunt home
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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