Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Randomize
