The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Even my vagina gasped.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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