She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
NoShamevember. You game?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
