If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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