How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
