she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
