We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
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