Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
