Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
