3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
