I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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