420 ftw
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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