once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Success! We fucked roommates!
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize