so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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