There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
home. puking in laundry basket.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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