I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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