my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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