I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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