I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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