Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize