id be glad to
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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