rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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