You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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