i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
