I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
