He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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